Dealing with Compromise

CompromiseThe beauty of any relationship is finding commonalities that will make the union thrive. Anything from mutual likes in music, discovering the palates have similar tastes and knowing that certain fantasies may fall in line (Of course i had to throw in the fantasy aspect!). The danger, i feel, in relationships may be the opposite, not having common interests in other aspects. As we get older, we become more set in our ways and typically, we like what we like and if we don’t like something, we just don’t like it!

And then there is the struggle between couples when it comes to not budging, particularly, if it’s something they abhor but their partner takes a keen interest in. Of course, it doesn’t have to be that extreme, but, it’s usually the general feeling. There is where compromise is a great thing to strengthen the relationship!

Which brings me to today’s subject matter…..

A little about my history. When i first discovered BDSM, i started reading female domination publications (Being in New York City, there were varieties at sex shops and newsstands). Upon reading a few, i didn’t know how to effectively pursue my newfound interest, especially amongst friends. As a Black man, it’s kinda hard to express my desires to want to be a Woman’s ‘slave.’ Then i found out about professional domination. ‘Dungeons’ where men (And women) went to to play out their fantasies of being dominated (Or dominating) in a setting reminiscent of a real dungeon (More likely a more medieval setting). In these dungeons, Women were paid to make reality (In a controlled setting) of fantasies one has. At the time, i couldn’t afford (Well, this is STILL the case lol) the price of an hour ‘session.’ That meant the idea of perusing a dungeon was null and void. BUT, the saving grace for me, was, while reading the publications, i found out about houseboys.

To some of you who may not know, ‘houseboys’ at Pro Domination dungeons, are the slaves of the house. In terms of positioning, they are the lowest in terms of stature. In fact, in most houses, they have no stature at all, just a purpose. Well, being the lowest at any level, in my fantasies, is where i belonged anyway. To make a very long story short (One of these days, i’ll dedicate a post to my houseboy experience), i became a houseboy to live out the fantasy i just started having at the time.

Now, of course, there are good and bad aspects of being houseboy. Being that i was a houseboy for MANY years at various dungeons, trust me, there were good and bad aspects. After my last stint as a houseboy, i grew tired of being one for several reasons.

To name a few (Remember, this is based on my experience):

Newer Mistresses weren’t genuine about domination at all

i would serve Mistresses i had no interest in serving

Doing things and being involved in activities i didn’t want to be a part of it

Sometimes, the Mistress i would have an interest in, had no interest in me

Wanting to serve one Mistress exclusively

Although i was being offered ‘positions’ at places i previously served at, the level of interest on my part had weened so much that i turned them down. Even serving at fetish events, there has been no desire to be a houseboy again.

Now, of course, being that this blog is about Miss Eve, you knew there had to be an angle! In the past, Miss Eve had asked me why i wasn’t a houseboy anymore and what i’ve written above is what i told Her. i mentioned that if She were around when i was a houseboy, i’m sure things would have been different for me (But, at the same time, i also mentioned that She would probably have no ‘use’ for me, thus, making it a moot point), in terms of wanting to remain a houseboy. She ‘threatened’ that She would have me serving as a houseboy at the dungeon She works at and i didn’t like that idea AT ALL. On one hand, i would be in the presence of Miss Eve, but, on the other hand, i would probably relive the bad aspects of my experience all over again.

Several months ago, the subject was broached again and i felt i had no other choice to comply, if this is what She really wanted. i was fearful She would make it happen, but, luckily for me, for whatever reason, it didn’t take place and it left my mind again. Unbeknownst to me, i became a houseboy one night when i thought i was just dropping Her off to work. It didn’t start that way, but, i think, no, it WAS a spontaneous action that She took. As i was in the dungeon, i was instructed to clean the shower in the bathroom and it took me by surprise, but, what was i to do? Of course, do what She said!

Fast forward to the other night when we were together. Miss Eve says that She will have me at the dungeon as a houseboy. Because my mindset has changed to be more receptive of Her needs and wants, i have accepted that i may, once again, become a houseboy. Now, that i know that is what She wants, i am making sure that it happens (Unless, she changes Her mind!). i have accepted the fact that i have to make more compromises in order to better serve Miss Eve.

Let’s just hope that She doesn’t like the idea of sharing me with others!!!! 😉



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