It takes a lot of work in any relationship in order for it to work. This is why it’s very important to, at least, be compatible or, at the very least, be willing to adapt to each other. The problem with a lot of relationships that have issues is the reluctance to either accept the other as they are or the unwillingness to change for the good of the union at hand. It’s difficult, especially as we get older, to, in essence, change our ways. There are few people who think they are the reason their relationship ended or didn’t work out. There is always blame that doesn’t typically point back at us. i feel the most important tool to any relationship working out, whether it’s romantic, friendship, work or even family, is communication.
We tend to not want to say anything because we feel it may be offensive or may not vibe with the other party involved. We tiptoe around little things, that after awhile, becomes big things because there is no communication and the other side doesn’t realize the effect it’s having on the psyche of the other. This is human nature, as we all do it to some extent, of course, some more than others, but, it’s not a rarity. We all have boundaries, insecurities, fears and many other attributes that range in importance in everyone. Some aren’t as tolerant as others, some are very sensitive. The list goes on and it never ends as we are all unique in nature, so, we shouldn’t expect to react the same in similar situations.
i am a little older than Mistress Eve, but, i have learned a lot about myself in my dealings with Her. Sometimes we feel, especially if we are older or more experienced than others, that we know better. Although in terms of life, it may be true, it doesn’t mean we are better at the task at hand because we’ve ‘been around longer.’ i would say that one thing people know about me is that i get along with everyone. i’ve been this way since i was an infant according to older family members and those who have been in my life for extended periods of time. i see myself as someone with knowledge and i enjoy passing it on based on my experience. That’s just part of who i am. There are times where i feel that, specifically in the BDSM world, that my experience SHOULD and DOES carry weight, but, i, in no way feel that i can’t still learn. In fact, i can say, i’ve learned a lot by being allowed around Mistress Eve, just in general and i appreciate that more than She may realize (Or want to admit….).
In terms of communication, i feel like i hear everything She says, but, i started to realize that, although i hear Her, there have been times where i wasn’t listening.
Now, think about that for a second…….
Now, for me, beauty is what captures my attention, but, it’s everything else about a person that holds it. Mistress Eve can be stubborn, i mean, STUBBORN and there is nothing wrong with that. But, when i started listening to what She would say or how She would express certain things to me, it finally hit me that, even though i would hear Her, i wasn’t listening. Of course, it would take something else happening and then ‘hearing’ Her tell me Her frustrations with me, it started to hit me and then i REALLY started listening to Her. i have to be honest, as i have told Her already, if this was a ‘regular situation’ (Meaning outside of the BDSM realm), my reactions and conversations with Her would be different. i don’t know if She would still be willing to deal with me (Or, in my mind, when She is not around or within earshot, I wouldn’t be willing to deal with HER!). So, i am more attentive in my dealings with Her, which i feel, makes me understand more of what She wants/needs (Because, of course, this is ALL about Her) in order to be a better ‘servant’.
Oh yeh, She has already informed me that i should be thinking of Her needs before She thinks of it and if you know Mistress Eve, THAT is an impossible task!!! 😉